My Socks Are on Fire!
Since Sunday afternoon, there has been a huge pile of tree branches in our yard, and it's beginning to bother me. By huge I mean HUGE, I’m talking eight feet high, twenty feet long, and at least six feet wide. “How did this pile of useless lumber get there?” I hear you ask. Well it started a week or so ago when a dude from the city came and told us that the branches on the trees in our front yard had to be at least fourteen feet of the ground. He informed us that we had one week to cut the branches or the city would hire somebody to do it for us. (Not cheap) I would like to point out that city also required us to put these trees in our front yard about ten years ago. We refrained from telling the guy from the city this, even though its irony factor was very high.
Also I recently found a cassette from a band called EMF. The name was vaguely familiar so I popped it into my car stereo system and it turns out that it’s some sort of early nineties rock/surreal/new wave thing it’s not bad, but it’s definitely dated. It did, however give me an idea for a story that involves minivans and timetravel.
You stole my stereo
You stole my cheerio's
You stole my G.I. Joe
After my math class today I was walking to my car, and I fell in line behind three other guys. As we approached the street we “broke rank” so to speak and spread out into a line as we crossed the street, then we turned almost in unison and we each went down a different row to our respective cars. Not a word was spoken between us as this all happened, but it looked like it could have been choreographed. Surreal.
Circles
Everything is moving in circles
Where I am
I once was
And I shall return here again
I have five different clocks in my room. One is beside my bed and it also doubles as a CD player and radio. The alarm on that one is set for 8:25, and plays The W’s when it turns on. It’s also 8 minutes fast. The second is on a shelf next to my bedside table, that I have to actually get up to hit the snooze button on, and the alarm is a loud buzzing noise, it goes off at 6:15 and then every nine minutes until 6:51 when I stop hitting the snooze button and actually get up. Continuing around my room, on my desk there is a children’s clock radio that the radio no longer works on. It’s constantly thirty minutes behind, because one day the power went out and I never bothered to reset it, because it was pretty close to the real time anyway. It doesn’t have an alarm set on it. On top of my television I keep my watch when I’m not wearing it, and it’s alarm is set to go off at 9:51 every morning to remind me that I need to go to class. The final clock actually tells time with a modified binary, each digit is represented by a column of red LEDs with on representing a one and off representing zero. No alarm on this clock, but it’s still fun to look at, because sometimes the time also makes a neat design.
The following paragraph is being put into my blog, because Micah requested that I write up a paragraph about my philosophy that violence can solve anything.
Many years ago I was told to never take anything for granted. I also was told by many people that violence never solves anything. Buy putting these two seemingly innocent phrases together I came to the conclusion that violence can actually solve problems. I decided to put my theory to the test by trying to come up with an example in which violence wasn’t a possible solution. I started small, with a problem that I often face: mismatched socks. There are multiple ways that violence can solve the problem of mismatched socks, for one you could set fire to the socks, thus leaving you with to nearly identical piles of ash. Some people would argue that this wasn’t a viable solution because you are left without any socks, but instead of burning your current socks, one could shoot someone with matching socks and then take the socks from the shot person, and then you not only have matching socks, but you have two extra ones that can be used for a puppet show on racial equality. Having proved one extreme, I then decided to tackle the big one, international disputes. Just the threat of violence can keep many of these disputes from happening, just threaten to nuke any countries caught arguing. Either people will learn to handle disagreements very quickly and carefully or there won’t be any country left for them to argue from. And even if people continue to fight just continue with the nuking, after enough of this, there won’t be anybody left at all to argue. These are just two examples of how to solve problems with violence, but if you really think about it, anything can be solved with violence.
I was really hoping that this blog wouldn’t turn into some sort of sappy, gush fest, but it seems to happen at least once every time I try. Oh well, here’s to embracing the inevitable! (If you really don’t want to know about this, [and I wouldn’t blame you] just disregard this post, it shouldn’t happen again)
So I asked Kelsey to the prom, and since then we went on a number of “dates” for lack of a better word. Going out to Bennigan’s after a show, or going to a party or a movie together, but nothing major really happened. Thursday before prom, we went to see Approaching Zanzibar over at Jesuit, and there was sort of a connection there, but still not much, until Prom itself.
Prom was a blast, even though it seemed as if Kelsey knew more people than I did. At dinner, Dara asked if Kelsey and I were an “Item, or what?” When faced with the question, Kelsey and I both did an “I guess so,” number and that really cemented things. After prom, we went to a big party thrown at the theatre, and Dara proved she really was a theatre girl, by taking part in a reenactment of the Cell Block Tango, from Chicago. We played catch phrase, and had to take Dara home at 2 o’clock in the morning. We then went back to the theatre for another couple hours, and then Joel, Kelsey and I went to IHOP for breakfast. At IHOP we scared the waitress by being extremely sleep deprived on top of our regular collective weirdness. We took Joel Home around 5:30 and by the time we got back to Kelsey’s house it was about 6:15 and we just stood on her porch as the sun came up.
Since then, we talked on the phone every other day or so, and we went to a movie and dinner, this Friday. As I was driving up to her house, she called me, and when I pulled up, she, her mom, and Bob were all sitting on the porch. This was quite a sight, and I had to go through the standard routine of “What are you going to see? Where are you going to go? Call us when you decide,” rigmarole. We saw Walking Tall and then went to Bennigan’s afterwards. We talked about everything from theatre stories to Survivor. She was supposed to be home at eleven, and when I pulled up inform of her house, we were finishing our discussion on the end of shows, when her front door opened, and out came Bob. That was quite possibly the scariest sight in my life. She quickly hopped out of the car with a “see you later” and I drove off very quickly.
It’s ironic that we were discussing how that every production of a play is completely different, but it’s always sad when it’s over, because that’s exactly how I felt when She got out of the car. Like it seemed to go on forever, but ended just as quickly as it had begun. I barely got to say goodbye, and it was over. What compounded the feeling is that the road I take to get home from her house is the same one I take to get back from the theatre, and I was very much reminded of the end of a show.(you may now resume your normal blogging experience)
Summer lovin' had me a blast - summer lovin', happened so fast
I met a girl crazy for me - I met a boy, cute as can be
Summer days driftin' away, to uh-oh those summer nights
Seems we've reached about one post a week.
So I finally broke down and bought those Dave Gorman books from England, they should be in, in about a week. I'm also reading Flatland right now, a good book about a 2 dimensional world.
I've been working a lot on my one man show recently. For those of you who don’t know (i.e. all of you), I’ve wanted to be a stand-up comedian for a while now, but I couldn’t find the right way to get my jokes and ideas and stories out. Then I stumbled onto the idea of the one man show. When I always used to hear about a one man show, I would think of things like "January, 27 1987. I am born!" and junk like that. But then I realized that a one man show could e about anything at all, as long as it only has one man in it. (Just so I’m being politically correct, when I say man, I mean it in the gender neutral sense. And besides, I’m a dude, what do you expect?) My show, while still about me, is more along the lines of an hour long conversation with myself. It takes place in an apartment style room, and I’m just wandering around, doing stuff while I talk to myself, about various topics, such as art, and stand up comedy itself. It’s looking like it may actually come together, and even if it doesn’t, it’s a blast to work on. (I actually wrote one bit today before my math class.)
Crazy stuff happens, to me!
- Jim Carrey
You know, I'm beginning to think no one reads this. Eh, whatever.
So it's two nights in a row now where I come home from work and cant sleep.
Today at work I was in music again, meaning that since it was a busy night I had maybe a dozen customers in six hours. I did manage to do some interesting reading about some interesting books. I recently picked up a book called Flatland, it's about a two dimensional world. It's pretty good so far. While at work today I found out that there are other books similar to flatland written by other people, called Flatlander, Sphereland, and Spaceland, all dealing with similar subjects, but in different fashions. I picked up Spaceland but Sphereland is out of print and we didn't have any copies of Flatlander in the store.
So prom's on Friday, and we still don't have all of the stuff figured out plan wise. Joel is going over to Darah's house for picture stuff and then I'm going to pick them up at her house with Kelsey, and then we're going to go to the prom. Darrah's parents aren't sure if/when they want her to go to an after party, and if they don't want her to go at all she's going to get a ride home with someone else, but if she does come, we'll have to take her home some time. It's not a problem but I need to have all of this stuff figured out and I only have tomorrow to do it because we don't have school Friday. Speaking of the after party, Sherri, who is really cool and set the whole thing up, is probably not going to be able to come to it because it's her husband's birthday, and he doesn't want to go out and party all night. There's an off chance that she'll put him to bed and then show at the party late but it's unlikely.
stuff that needs to be done before prom:
get corsage
get haircut
get Dr Pepper for after party
find out what Darrah's allowed to do
find out where Darrah lives
get my granparents' Buick
pick out some car music
stop panicking
Also tomorrow, I'm taking Kelsey to see Approaching Zanzibar over at Jesuit in Dallas, I'm hoping I'll be able to find the school. It has Allee, a friend from the ski trip in it, and Carl her bf, also from the ski trip, was AD for the show. It should be fun.
The fountains mingle with the river
And the rivers with the ocean;
The winds of heaven mix for ever
With a sweet emotion;
Nothing in the world is single;
All things by a law divine
In one spirit meet and mingle.
Why not I with thine?
See the mountains kiss high heaven
And the waves clasp one another;
No sister-flower would be forgiven
If it disdained its brother;
And the sunlight clasps the earth
And the moonbeams kiss the sea;
What is all this sweet work worth
If though kiss not me?
Wow over a week, I didn't think it had been that long.
loads stuff has happened recently, and most of it's pretty good. Saturday I got up and went to work on the sets for Music and I ended up working with Brian, who was, for once, not entirely annoying. We had some paint that had partially solidified, and it was my job to make it usable again. I poured about half an inch of paint thinner onto the top of the paint and started stirring with (what else?) a paint stick. It was the consistency of really, really thick paint. After I mixed that in I repeated the process, by this point it was about as thin as paste. I managed to break the paint stick off in the paint. Someone finally asked why we didn't just go buy some more paint. I told them it was because our budget was about four dollars. They offered to buy some and donate it to the play, thus making my job obsolete. We (being Woodrow) then decided that we(being me and Brian) needed to spray paint some buckets and a table, so we did.
I had to leave the set building at 12:30 because Kelsey and I were going to a "teen cast party" for Cheaper, and then to see a movie. I guess it was a date but we never really called it that. The party was at one and I wanted to change out of my set building clothes into my party clothes. (different colored jeans and a clean t-shirt) The party was fun and we actually stayed for the duration, being the last ones to leave with the exception of Paul, Mark and Lauren (it was her house), There's something going on between them but I have no idea what it is. I digress, the party was fun it started with some volleyball in the almost rain, followed by most of the people jumping in he pool, which, despite those who would tell you otherwise, was
not warmer than the outside. While some people were swimming the rest of us started a fire in one of those outdoor fire place like things. It was going ok but too much of the wood was wed, so it didn't last long. After the swimming we went inside and ate and talked about stuff in general. Mark handed out the laminated copies of "Marks Favorite Things" a song written about our production of Cheaper during the last performance. Eventually everyone decided to go upstairs, Kelsey and I realized that we were the only ones left downstairs, so we headed up to. Upstairs we listened to music and someone broke out Twister. I didn't play at first because I'm bigger than most everyone else. They did convince me to play one game once they set up two pads and got everyone else to play. I decided to play very aggressively (yes you can play Twister aggressively) and would have won but my knee started acting up. After the final rounds of Twister, they decided to play an old fashion game of ERS, the least intelligent card game since War. Kelsey, Mark and I opted out, but Mark later decided to slap in. Once again leaving Kelsey and I together to talk. We shared theatre stories until everyone headed back down to play some more volleyball. Kelsey and I continued our stories on the sidelines, and I learned that in addition to Tony being Javert in Carroll's production of Les Mis, but that Cole Grissom, who I don't know very well but I do know his father from the theatre and I know is a very excellent actor, was Valjean. Grrr... As if I wasn't upset enough about not getting a chance to see the show, this just made matters worse. Oh well. Margaret came over while we were telling stories and added a couple of her own. It's still hard to believe that she's a sophomore. During story time, the parents started showing up and the party pretty much ended.
after the party Kelsey and I went to the AMC theatre and tried to decide what movie to watch. We finally picked Starsky and Hutch, because it wasn't rated R and was starting soon. The movie was ok, except for the part where Ben Stiller was looking for some sugar and Owen Wilson said he didn't have any. I stipulated to Kelsey that there were sugar cubed on the plate right behind him, but she claimed that they were marshmallows. I questioned the validity of square marshmallows, and she said there were square if you mad them yourself. I still maintain that they were sugar cubes. After the movie, we walked outside into the blistering cold of April (yeah it's weird alright), and Kelsey complained of being cold so I wrapped my arm around her, which was pretty cool. (I'm allowed to say that, I'm a Geek)
Sunday was Easter so I did all of those things that people associate with Easter. Church, big family meal, played video games, the usual.
Monday I didn't have to go to Faith, so I went to my mother's math class instead, unfortunately it was canceled too. I called Kelsey on the way home and asked her to go see Approaching Zanzibar on Thursday. She said yes so then I had to figure out how to get there, but it's not too hard.
today I went to rehearsal for Music then went to work. My manager was going to send me home, because she need to cut somebody, but then Stephanie called her mom and she was having some problems, so she left instead of me. I don't really care because I need the money.
I just noticed that I spent as much space on Saturday as the rest of the days combined. Huh.
And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now
And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
'Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight
I really dislike people who don’t use Internet etiquette. Today in my inbox there was not only three copies of a chain letter, promising me money from Bill Gates for every person I send this to. Not only that but I got it twice from the same person! Lets use some common sense here, shall we? Why would Bill Gates give you any money for forwarding an email? Let alone $200 for each person you send it to. He may be filthy, stinking, and rich, but I don’t think that he is so tired of having all this money that he’s going to give it away to strangers. Point two: how is Mr. Billy going to know that YOU are the one he needs to send the money to? He isn’t going to just send a check to your email address. Point the Third: according to the email, you have to forward it ass soon as possible, because, this is a beta test and you wont get your money if you don’t send it before the beta’s over. The only problem is that the email never specifies a start or end date for this “beta testing.”
And I don’t like those people who feel the need to spam email lists with replies like “me too” or “I’m in.” Yeah I’m talking to you.
*Steps off of soapbox*
In other news, I’m offering a shiny new dollar via paypal, to the first person to finish my contest. “What contest?” you say? The following contest: Below are a few lyrics from a number of different songs that I have listened to recently. You have to email me with the correct title and singer (or singers) of said lyrics. Some of them are easy and some of them are really hard, but I assure you that each and every one of the songs exists.
Song one:
My jaw nearly hit the floor
I couldn’t believe my eyes
Twenty minutes later when I opened the door
She was standing right outside
Song two:
I saw my friend the other day
And he said
I’m real concerned about the cola war
I’m working on a screenplay about a dinosaur
You got Nintendo 64
Can I come over and play?
Song three:
I cut down trees
I skip and jump
I like to press wild flowers
I put on women’s clothing
And hang around in bars
Song four:
So it was Jeremy in 1983
In his Ocean Pacific tee
Who got a bloody knee
On his skateboard
In the half pipe that Tuesday night
Song five:
Every single night the same arrangement
I go out and fight the fight
Still I always feel this strange estrangement
Nothing here is real nothing here is right
Song six:
Here she comes again with another boyfriend
Introduces me and says
This is the sweetest guy I’ve ever known
She wraps her arms around my head
“This is the sweetest guy I’ve ever known”
Song seven:
So we’ll drink and drink and drink and drink
And then we’ll drink some more
We’ll drink and dance and fight
‘Till the early morning light
When we’ll throw-up, pass out, wake up
And then go drinking once again
Song eight:
So late, one night
When the palace is asleep
Out of my royal chambers
And into the garden I creep
Song nine:
Zoom zoom, zoom zoom
The world is in a mess
With politics and taxes
And people grinding axes
There’s no happiness
Song ten:
He was killed by a cellular phone explosion
They scattered his ashes across the ocean
The water was used to make baby lotion
The wheels of promotion were set into motion
Song eleven:
Junior highschooler
With pencils in my pocket
And my Trapper Keeper busted
Spilling papers and books on the floor
Not wanting seventh grade anymore
Song twelve:
I know I should go
But I follow you like a man possessed
There's a traitor here beneath my breast
And it hurts me more than you've ever guessed
If my heart could beat, it would break my chest
Song thirteen:
The one I kiss is the one you take
I promised lord that I would stay awake
I swear to you that I don’t know the man
Let his blood be on you I have washed my hands
Song fourteen:
Three cheers for Joe’s junior-high
It’s the best junior high in Toledo
Its colors are purple and white
The purple stands for freedom
And the white stands for FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!
So there you have it, the longest post I’ve had in these past two months (that’s all? Crazy Ain’t it?) If you have the answers email me at the sub domain of this website@yahoo.com. You could be the lucky winner!
P.s. If you don’t now what the sub domain is, then you don’t deserve to win.
P.p.s. I’m serious about the paypal thing.
P.p.p.s. no lyrics today because of the whole contest thing
The time change is messing with my head, I woke up today at 1 in the afternoon, and it’s now almost midnight and I can’t get to sleep.
Today was the last show of Cheaper and it’s weird, this is the only show where I walked away and didn’t feel upset. This show has been my life for the past two months, and now it’s over, but I cant seem to feel it. After the show today we started striking the set, which was standard procedure, get all the props off stage then start unscrewing things. I ended up working on the stairs with Kelsey and the youngest kids in the family. We spent about an hour on it while everybody else started eating the food that our director had brought for us. (He runs a barbecue business on the side.) We finally stopped when someone started asking the kids if they had eaten anything yet. We decided that it would be a good time to take a break. We sat and talked about various things for a while, while some other people finished taking down the set. Sherri (also in the show) started inviting people to the theatre prom, which is happening as my after prom party, and as an excuse for people to get together and party all night. Liz disappeared early on to make out with her boyfriend, and the theatre ran out of Dr Pepper (I did share my emergency stash, that I keep in my car, with Kelsey. That’s not to say that I keep both the stash and Kelsey in my car, but that I shared the stash with her.) The after strike party pretty much ended with a whimper, with people leaving one at a time, until everybody was gone. But the striking of the set did help to provide closure. (Unlike this post)
Also, if things work out right, Kelsey and I will go to the “teen” cast party this Saturday, and then a movie, possibly Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, or Jersey Girl. (Unless she wants something less chick-flickey)
Another also, Girl + power drill = WOW
The real American folksong is a rag
A mental jag
A rhythmic tonic for the chronic blues
The critics called it a "joke song" but now
They've changed their tune, and they like it, somehow
For it's innoculated with a syncopated sort of meter, sweeter
Than a classic strain, boy you can't remain, still or quiet, for it's a riot
The real American folksong
Is like a fountain of youth
You taste, and it elates you, and then, invigorates you
The real American folksong, the masses coaxed on, is a rag
Been a while huh?
Well I’ve certainly done stuff since Saturday at five am and the start of the thirty hour famine, but I’m not sure I want to tell you about them. Ok, I will.
Saturday, I went to the church at like 9 even though we didn’t need to be there until 10. But I helped Bevan (or is it Bevin? I should probably check) but once everybody got there we went distribute flyers on people’s doors, which was quite an experience. (be nice to those people, they don’t get paid much.) Then we went back to the church then we went to see NASCAR 3D at the IMAX (lots of CAPS there), which was fun except for the part where we could smell the popcorn from the moment we walked in the door. After the NASCAR thing I went to perform Cheaper and was quickly followed by the rest of my youth group because there was a mix-up with the reservations, and it goes thusly:
My father went to make sure that there was a reserves space for the member of out youth group that’s in a wheelchair, but he found that there wasn’t a reservation for our group, but the show was sold out anyway. He called Bevan and told her to get there ASAP becausewe were over booked 28 people, the exact number of people on the famine. She brought along her online confrmation slip which also stated tat she had paid in advance. Meanwhile those of us in the play are trying to figure out how to fit in all these extra people tat are planning to show up. We eventually decide to add another row of chairs in front of the ones we currently have, and hope that some people don’t show up.
Sunday was pretty good because I got to start eating again. Then I went and performed a matinee of Cheaper, where I managed to get one of my suspenders caught on the doorknob, it was quite funny and I recovered perfectly, but when I landed I came down hard on my right leg, which is now giving me some serious pain problems. I can move it, but anytime I do it hurts like crazy. Monday and Tuesday were boring and Wednesday I called in sick because I didn’t want to stand for six hours on my bum leg.
Today I went to the doctor to see about my leg, it’s not broken but it is kind of sprained. Also, because today is that lovely day of fooling the Aprilish, last night I went around the house and unscrewed every light in the house. Fun, fun, fun. Also the cast and crew of Cheaper are going to Tony Roma’s tonight for ribs, Yum
And the sun still shines in the summer time
I’ll be yours if you’ll be mine
I wanted to change but I changed my mind
I’ll have another glass of Mexican wine
