My Socks Are on Fire!
Band-aid on my Forehead.
Yes I know it's a brand name.
My nose is stuffy.
I'm tired of Jitters. I've been working on the show for a while now and the excitement is just running out. A couple nights ago there was some chaos and we were told to strike the set at post show, then to not strike it, after we had already started. Then Jason snapped at me for something, I don't remember what, but I couldn't leave until my crew was dismissed, even though we weren't doing anything. Tonight was just really slow. I thought were were almost done with the third act when we had only just started the second. I did pick up a little when Topher, Thomas, Courtney and I were talking about favorite plays. This culminated with Topher and I discussing Angels in America. I made it clear that I didn't think it was very good, and Topher found this shocking. This was cleared up when he realized my only experience with it was the Tech production of the second half. He is now going to rent the movie for me and I'm going to watch it over the weekend and reevaluate my opinion
I've been really existential recently which has it's pluses and minuses. On the one hand I feel like there are no consequences of my actions and I have found myself saying things that I might not have a few weeks ago. on the other hand, I've been saying things that I may not have a few weeks ago. I spilled my guts to Craig about how I feel in regards to certain women, and I have no idea why.
Speaking of women, it's all a conspiracy. It seems to me like they don't appreciate boldness. the direct approach just doesn't seem to work. A while ago, I was explaining to Topher that I created "happy accidents" when pursuing somebody. Happy accidents could also be considered orchestrated coincidences. Women prefer their relationships to just come naturally, unfortunately that doesn't happen easily or often so it is up to us to make it seem as if it is. Being in the same place at the same time, or striking up a spur of the moment random conversation that lasts much longer that it should takes work. Yes it's creepy, but if you don't know it's happening what's the problem? You people need to be more paranoid.
I have my interview to be Lead Mentor next Monday. I really think I have a shot at the job, but I'm worried that it will have a negative impact on my grades if it takes up too much of my time. The interview should be interesting, It will be my boss, his boss, and the two current Lead Mentors. Of those people I know my boss and the Lead Mentors rather well and I think they all like me and think I have a real grasp of what the program is about and how to continue to improve it. I also picked up my last two checks today. I am now almost six hundred dollars richer.
Thus ends the verse
Labels: bandage, conspiracy, existentialism, interview, theatre, women
Just a quickie
Next time you want to punch someone in the face, buy them lunch instead.
Cups and Cakes
Where was I?
Oh yes, the moon.
Saturday I my family and I did a number of interesting things. We went to the post office and applied for mine and Kat's passports. We went to Half Price Books where I found An Evening With Kevin Smith 1&2 on DVD. My dad and I went to the Metro and saw Beowulf in IMAX 3D. It was pretty impressive, although it did have a few "Hey, look at us! We're in 3D!" moments. Saturday night my family and I watched TV together. I started doing my laundry and goofed off on the netterwebs until it was finished.
Sunday morning, I woke up, got dressed, finished packing, said my goodbyes and drove to Lubbock.
Once back in Lubbock I did nothing for a while, got bored of it and went for a walk. While out on my walk I accosted various strangers and told them "May you lead an interesting life." Sometimes I feel out of place when I'm on one of my walks. So many of the people I see are walking from somewhere to somewhere else. They don't seem to even acknowledge the world around them. As someone once said "Life is for the alive," If you don't bother to even stop once in a while, why bother?
The mini bar can be part of the art
Labels: drive, lubbock, moon, movies, walking
Update
She said maybe. Probably the worst answer. Oh, well.
I'll finish my weekend update later.
Labels: maybe, update
Thanksgiving Weekend
Well the first half anyway.
Wednesday morning I get up at around 8 o'clock. I take a shower and start packing up. I already put all of my dirty clothes in baskets ready to be taken to my car. I also had to pack up my computer after double checking where James lives. I checked out a cart form the front office and used it to bring my two baskets of clothes, backpack with computer, pillow, and two coats to my car. On the way to my car I noticed how empty the parking lot was. I guess a lot of people went home Tuesday night like I wanted to.
I got lost on the way to James' place but I left early so I arrived on time. We chatted briefly and got in the car. I asked if he liked
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Of course he did, which was good because I wanted to listen to the radio series on the way home. I had originally come up with this plan because we didn't know each other very well, and I was afraid it would be an awkward 5ive and a half hours. about an hour outside of town I stopped the iPod to answer my phone and after the call James and I ended up talking about all sorts of stuff and I somewhat regretted listening to the show instead of talking for so much of the trip.
I got home after dropping James off and hung out with my family for most of the evening. I sometimes need to take a moment and be thankful that we all get along so well. Sure we have a few little things, but we can spend an evening sitting around and talking and it's actually fun.
We then went to a Wednesday night church service. Every Thanksgiving my home church and another form down the street get together for a service followed by pie. I like pie. During the post service fellowship and pie, I talked to Erin. Erin is a girl who is currently a senior in high school and trying to figure out where she wants to go to college. Her family is also very good friends with mine. Being that I love Texas Tech, I talked to her about all the cool things the school has to offer. She agreed to come up for a visit in the near future, but I don't know that she actually will. If she does I'll have to find somewhere for her to stay, and try and set up a meeting with an adviser who could tell her more about the program she is interested in entering.
Thursday was Thanksgiving (you probably heard about this elsewhere,) and it was just going to be the four of us in my immediate family eating together. This was pretty cool as almost every other Thanksgiving I can remember we were with someone else, be it family or friends. We worked together making the food and had a lot of fun doing it. Kat made some really tasty pie. (peanut butter chocolate fudge) We ate around three and then everybody took a nap somewhere in the house. Kat fell asleep on the couch, my dad and I both sitting on overstuffed armchairs, and my mother in her bed (she's he smart one.) After everybody's nap we ate the pie. That evening we watched TV, because my family watches a lot of shows together. Some of them were episodes I had already seen or shows I don't watch regularly but I did it to be with my family.
After everybody went to bed I got on my computer to find that a certain someone was online. For those of you who are paying attention, this was the same certain someone who received my phone number in a previous post. We chatted only briefly because I couldn't think of much to say. I really am much more charming in person or over the phone, the whole IM thing is harder for me. About two seconds after I had decided to ask her out, she said she was going to bed and signed off. I actually had the message typed out and was trying to force myself to hit send when the program informed me that she wouldn't be receiving my message that evening. I kicked myself repeatedly for not doing it sooner (I had been thinking about it from the moment we started chatting.)
Side note: As I'm typing this she is currently online and I want to message her, but I've been thinking about it since yesterday and keep psyching myself out about it. I'll probably keep debating it until she signs off. Sometimes I am too analytical.
Friday (today) morning I wake up and am informed by my sister that we have to do the Christmas decorations today. This includes hanging lights on the house and putting up the tree. I think I'm going to stop blogging here and just ask her out. I may finish this later but who knows. The future is a mystery, lets hope for squirrels.
no, no, not lied at all.
Labels: church, drive, family, James, pie, Texas Tech, travel
Life is Weird
So I hurt my had a few nights ago. It still hurts.
I really want to go home, but I can't because I'm giving a ride to somebody and we're not leaving until tomorrow morning. I should really start packing.
My right nostril has been stuffy for a few days now. Also not fun.
Things are looking up!
I've been looking the landscape over
And it's covered with four leaf clover
My right ear has apparently shrunk. I can't fit my ear buds into it.
There is a lot of trash in my room.
Sam's place has been closed for 4 hours now, and won't open tomorrow. All I have to eat is stuff I can find in my room.
I actually gave a woman my phone number last night. That was cool and weird.
I think I'm going to take my wii home for Thanksgiving.
I made a video of me eating a bowl of chili and will post it onto youtube in the near future.
Five foot eleven standin' in six feet of snow.
Labels: chili, ear, food, hand, injury, leave, nostril, trash, video, women
A Story
In case the title of this post wasn't enough information for you, the following story is fictional. Any similarity to actual people or events is purely coincidental and unintentional. That is to say it is all in your head, deal with it. Happy now?
I knock on the door.
A few moments pass.
I breathe out and my breath bounces around inside the cloth of my mask and fogs up my sunglasses.
He answers. This is good, I don't have to use the note I have written on my hand. It says "Which room is Mel's?" If a roommate answered I would have flashed my palm so I wouldn't have to speak. That way they couldn't identify me by my voice.
The door opens slightly and I stick my foot in next to the jamb. This is a little trick I learned from the Community Advisers. Makes it harder to close the door.
My foot only rests there for an instant because once I realize it's Him I go to work. I shove the door into him. He's small so he offers little resistance. I make a quick scan of the bedroom doors. The open one, that's it. As I make it through the second door I see her. She isn't fully undressed, as I expected, but she is definitely on her way. I hesitate for about a second more than I should before I snap out of it.
I pull the tire iron out of the waistband of my pants and head straight for the television. A quick swing makes the whole set shatter. From there I move on to computer. It's a laptop so I just smash the keyboard a couple time and the screen once. I look for a final target as I turn back to the door. Yes, the big sliding mirror on the closet. I wind up and let loose as the glass shatters.
As I make it back to the living room it occurs that I don't want to be followed. I turn to him, and he hasn't moved. Everything has slowed down and my only question is: arm or leg? Arm or leg? Leg will definitely keep him from following, but all I want to do is focus attention elsewhere. Arm it is. One wide swing and a sickening crack later I am out the door and heading directly across the hall to the staircase. I couldn't have asked for better room placement.
As I go down one flight of stairs, I remove my outer shirt and mask. After only one flight I leave the stairwell. Just as I had planned, The laundry room is but a few feet away. I toss my shirt and mask into a dryer and quickly take off my pants and do the same to them. I am now wearing a completely different outfit and can move about freely.
I look down and see the tire iron still in my hand. Shit. I need to get rid of this. I shove it back into the waistband of my pants and cover the end with my new shirt. I had planned on returning to my room and sleeping peacefully but It looks like I have to make a detour first. With the tool concealed and my outfit changed I have no need to rush. I'm not what the police will be looking for. I hop on the elevator (if you're in a hurry you don't have time to wait for an elevator,) and ride it down the last two floors to the ground. I calmly walk through the building, glancing into the main office as I pass. No frantic activity. A good sign. Nobody has been notified yet, at least not here.
As I make it to the parking lot I see her car. That was going to be my plan B, but why can't I have a little from column A
and a little from column B? As I near her car I slow down, checking for possible witnesses. Nobody is about, so I take my first swing. Passenger window. It feels good. I love that sound. I smash the windshield. It cracks but does not shatter. Stupid safety glass. I'll get back to you in a minute. Driver window. It breaks as quickly as its opposite. Back to the windshield. All I manage to do is punch one small hole after another.
That's when I hear the sirens. Two different sirens. My guess is police and ambulance. Now that I think about it, a fire would have completed the trifecta. I could have set it first and then taken care of everything else. Oh well, too late now. I leave the tire iron stuck in the windshield and start heading to my car. Too late, the cops have seen me. I break the first rule; I start running. I make it to my car and manage to start it up and back out before they catch up to me. I hope they don't think my petty vandalism had anything to do with the horrible attack inside the building, but one car is sent my direction, probably just to be sure.
I shoot down the lane in reverse before slamming it back into gear and turning. I make it out of the parking lot and drive along the only street there is. I have to get off campus. I'm coming up on the intersection. I'm already going 50 in a 20 zone. The light is red. No turning back now. I floor it.
Labels: assault, escape, fiction, freedom, justice, mask, police, revenge, tire iron
Hang Yourself
The above is not intended as advice that should be taken by anybody. It is meant to be a pun on RROAPS, which this post is about.
So once again I submitted a play to this year's Raider Red One-Act Play Spectacular (RROAPS). I thought it was much better than my submission last year and actually thought I had a chance to get in. I found out today that I was wrong.
I don't know what these people want. I think that is part of the problem.
My writing style is rather off the cuff. I write two pages of dialog a day. That's it. I don't typically set out with a plot in mind, I just see what happens. This leads to my plays being rather heavy on dialog rather than action, but that's where I find humor.
There is a response session that I can sign up for to learn why my play wasn't selected. I went to this last year and it was a rather painful experience. Having all of the flaws pointed out in your writing certainly isn't something people sign up for regularly. But I want to know why. Why they didn't select mine, what they didn't like. This is the closest thing I can get to figuring out what they do want. So I will be going through the torture again. I'll probably write about the experience later but if it's anything like last year, I'll walk into a room with a bunch of chairs fanned out in front of one single chair. This will be where I sit while each member of the RROAPS committee explains just exactly why my play was a steaming pile of bullshit.
Which reminds me: I'm pretty sure one of the reasons will be the title. It is called
Two and a Half Hours of Pretentious Bull$#!+. Yes I actually spelled it with the punctuation like that. I thought it might help with the expected complaints. Yes I know the title could be offensive, it was meant to be. The play is a humorous look at performance art and one aspect of that is that some performance art is offensive just for the sake of it. Also, no it was not actually two and a half hours long, closer to 15 minutes.
I shouldn't get too down about it though because my submission last year was later picked up by my home theatre in Grapevine and produced as part of their Vignettes for Valentine's performance. Just because I was rejected here it doesn't mean it's a bad script or that I'm a bad writer, even if it feels that way.
On the bright side, he didn't get picked either, so Thumbs up for Slurpees.
Also, If you're here from facebook (I recently reposted this address) please check out the column to your right, there is some info for all intrepid readers who may know me.
It's a long lost cause I can never win
Labels: playwriting, rejection, RROAPS
Don't Google Yourself
Tonight was my first final Learning Community Group (I have my last final LCG on Wednesday.)
We (my LCG) went to a local Greek restaurant and at one point in the discussion Marta (my mentor partner on Mondays) mentioned that New York has recently passed a law making it illegal to say a particular obscenity. (It starts with b and is derogatory to women.) This launches me into a tirade about the first amendment and has me pulling out my copy of the Bill of Rights (much to the class's surprise) and quoting it directly.
We continue the discussion and it wanders all over the political field, I am enjoying the discussion as I usually do.
I get back to my room and decided to check my auxiliary email accounts (I have about 6 that I don't use regularly) one of these is based on my name and it inspires me to Google myself.
I find the usual things: a paraplegic Olympic gold medalist, the designer, the professor and the musician in England, but a new one pops up. This name twin has apparently written a book called (I wish I was making this title up)
Saving Our Children From the First Amendment. Holy frakking frak Batman! Is this man the opposite me? I b rows through his book using Google Books and in the introduction he poses the question "Isn't this censorship? Yes, it is. But is censorship always an evil?" That is a direct quote my friends. YES, censorship is always an evil! Free expression is exactly that, anything different isn't!
This is actually maging me so angry it is getting hard to type so I think I'll leave it at that, but I must say I am slightly ashamed of the way my name is being used out there in the real world right now.
I'll C U next Tuesday, baby
Labels: an, First Amendment, Google, government, greek food, LCG
Am I?
I was indirectly called a bastard today.
In my acting class today we watched a rehearsal for one group's final scene. There is a pair of lines in the play: "You're a bastard" "Yes I am." Professor Scott was talking to Eric (the actor) about this line and was saying to him (in regards to his character) "you know you are a bastard and you're OK with it." Heidi, who is my scene partner for the class, then turns to me and says "Kind of like you." This was obviously meant as a joke, and I say stuff like it all the time, but there's certainly a different spin on it when someone else calls you a bastard rather than when you do it to yourself.
I talk about being a horrible person a lot, and I typically stand by that point. I'm very unsympathetic, and I have the tendency to find the negative in people and things and point it out. It's not meant as a hurtful thing, and I try to play it off as good natured, but I sometimes wonder if it doesn't come off that way and I actually hurt people.
And then I say to myself, "Oh well, whatever" and reinforce the whole being unsympathetic thing.
Love is always lovely in the end
Labels: acting class, bastard, unsympathetic
Secret
The thing about a secret is if you tell it to anybody it is no longer a secret.
So why do you think I'm about to tell you mine?
I hate you.
Labels: secret
Groceries
Well I hit another College Milestone. I bought groceries for the first time.
Now I have been shopping before at Wal-Mart, but if my purchase ever included food it was an afterthought, as I usually go to Wal-Mart for DVDs and other "less then essential" supplies.
But this time was a dedicated trip for the purpose of buying that strange category of items known as groceries.
This trip was brought on by a few factors. Firstly I was bored. I had already cleaned my room and taken out the trash, laundry didn't seem worthwhile, and there was nothing on TV. Also I am running low on money on my dining plan, so I figured I could do a practice run on the whole "feeding myself" thing.
Before leaving on this trip I made a list. After many years of watching my mother shop for groceries I understand the importance of making a list. I also assumed it to be a relatively simple procedure. I was wrong. My list in it's entirety is as follows:
food (it should be noted this is an item, not a title)
Dr Pepper
chili
crackers
Hot Choclolate (that's how I spelled it on the list)
Spaghetti o's (apparently I can spell spaghetti just fine)
While I understood the necessity and purpose of a list, I was unable to properly formulate one. I put the list in my pocket and left, hoping that I could figure out everything when I was at the store.
I knew food was at the top of my list so when I got to Wal-Mart I parked on the side that said food center. Allow me to rant on people in parking lots for a moment. I go down one of the lanes and there is a car stopped in front of me. I think they are waiting for someone to leave and start looking around for this spot that is about to be vacated. I don't want it for myself because this guy in front of me obviously has dibs, but once he has a spot, I can get one. We're sitting there for probably three minutes and I cannot see any car that even has it's lights on, let alone about to back out. At this point I want to back up and just try a different lane, but another car has pulled in behind me so I'm stuck. A full five minutes go by in total and this van finally turns on and pulls out, the car in front of me takes the spot and i move down the lane to one of the many open spots. is it really worth sitting in your car for five extra minutes just to get a slightly closer spot? In the amount of time you waited you could have gone to another spot parked and already be in the store. This is why America has a weight problem We are too lazy to walk an additional fifty feet. (on a further digression: My ex didn't like the fact that I have very little sympathy for the overweight. I have very little sympathy for anybody, but we live in a world of medical miracles. If you are that unhappy about your weight do something about it. And if the situation was really that bad, you can get a little blue thing to let you park in the handicapped spots. It's not that I don't like fat people, I don't like people who complain about situations that no one else is responsible for. Actually when it comes to women I like a little meat on their bones.)
Once in the store I get a cart, something I have never expected a need for previously. Because every cart in the store is broken, mine makes a loud popping noise with every rotation of one of the wheels. I have My iPod on, so it doesn't really bother me.
As I walk around the store picking up items that interest me and putting them in my cart, I repeatedly have to ask the question "generic or name brand?" This is not an easy question, because with the lower price of generic products you are taking a risk in regards to the quality of the product. For example I once bought generic Dr Pepper hoping to save a buck or two (Soda prices are outrageous) that was a mistake that I will not make again, but with other products the risk can be worth it. There was a sale on Wolf chili, so it was actually cheaper than the generic. Also A 12 pack of ramen costs the same as 2 cans of generic spaghetti o's.
I referenced my list repeatedly throughout my shopping, not to see if I was getting everything, but rather to make it look like I knew what I was doing. "I have a list, everything will be OK!"
As I wandered through the store I would come up with things that would be good to have, like sandwich makings. I got a loaf of pre-sliced sourdough for my meat sandwiches and a loaf of 100% whole grain for PB&Js. I can't believe it, but I actually bought wheat bread. Way to go mom, you've converted me. there was the problem of whole grain or whole weat, but whole grain seemed like the right choice. Of course I then had to buy things to put on the bread which led me all over the store. This further reinforced the importance of the list because with a well made list I wouldn't have to back track, wasting precious shopping time.
The checkout line was an adventure in itself. I am used to the express lane and could have made it, if I hadn't made the last minute decision to make sandwiches, so regular checkout for me. It is impossible to pick a good lane if they are all the same length, there's no telling what possible problems could arise for the customers in line before you. You have to just pick one and stick with it. I made it past the register having only spent 48 dollars. This made me proud considering I still had the fifty dollar check from LCT in my wallet. I stopped by the ATM to deposit it and overall tonight was a two dollar gain.
The final part of my grocery adventure was getting everything back to my room. Getting it to the car wasn't difficult because I had a cart, but it being a Sunday night I knew I would have to carry everything approximately 200 yards from my car to the building, then through 4 separate doors, any of which could be locked. When looking for a spot, I noticed an empty 30 minute spot. Fortune smiles. I was able to park much closer that I had expected and effectively cut 50 yards off my walking distance. (The parking lot is still too far from the dorm) And before anybody says anything, I know I just ranted about people trying to hard to get a close spot, but the point is that you shouldn't try so hard. If you get lucky, way to go.
It should also be noted that I got neither crackers or hot chocolate during this trip. My list skills still have a way to go.
And the band played on
Labels: groceries, list, mom, parking, planning, practice, shopping, Wal-Mart, walking
I Hope That Something Better Comes Along
"Stay away from women, that's my motto. I can't, that's my trouble."
- Rowlf the Dog
I think I finally realized I was single when I noticed that I sized up every woman I met for dating potential. From what I can tell this is not an inherently weird thing to do, but it certainly is a new experience. There have been a number of women who would fall into the category of "dateable." Unfortunately I don't really think any of them have placed me in the same category. Well there is one, but I don't actually know her. It's kind of weird. For the purposes of this blog I'm going to reference them by various pseudonyms.
Oprah: A nice girl but currently "dating Jesus" As someone pointed out to me I seem to like the weird ones, but this is a weird that proves to be an obstacle.
Monica: I've been interested in her for a while now, but I got shot down and haven't pursued it since.
Jill: Very attractive, but in what appears to be a steady long term relationship.
Erin: Too old for me, apparently.
Sweater (not the best pseudonym, but what do you want): Could be interesting, but we don't know each other too well and I think she might be interested in a mutual classmate.
That's all the ones I want to talk about for now.
There's something irresistibleish about 'em
Labels: muppets, pseudonym, weird, women
