There seem to be a lot of short posts here recently.

This one is no different.  ¶ 8/27/2007 08:42:00 PM (0) comments

  The definition of pathetic:

A 20 year old man lying in bed at night with a stuffed animal watching the E! True Hollywood Story.

Also on an unrelated note, I think I've been a bastard recently, and I think I need to check that.  ¶ 8/26/2007 08:55:00 PM (0) comments

  This is an amendment to my August 13 post. Pretend it's right before the last line of the post.

If this is all untrue then it won't bother you, but if it is, maybe you should do some thinking.

That is all.  ¶ 8/24/2007 02:02:00 PM (0) comments

  So I'm single.

This is not news, nor is it a particularly bad thing. when talking to my roommate today the concept of being single came up. We were discussing people who claim to be single by choice. This was quickly dismissed as a lie told by guys who had been single for too long and were trying to rationalize it.

however upon further thought, this doesn't have to be the case. I suppose one could choose to be single. Being single is easy. It can be fun. But it can also be lonely.

I'm not a physical person. I'm not comfortable touching people or being touched. I'm pretty good with handshakes, and I can fake hugs well but they're not exactly pleasant. When I'm in a state of being that could be called not single, I have somebody I can touch; somebody who can touch me.

I can understand why people have hook-ups and one night stands. Physically feeling somebody is an incredible experience. Most of the time people live in a vacuum, they are the only living thing in the world. In Douglas Adams's Hitchhiker's guide to the Galaxy, the protagonists meet a man who knows what he is sure of. The only thing he can be sure of is the present. Everything else is only in his mind. This is how people are weather or not they know it. It is impossible to be 100% sure of anything outside of our current experiences, and even those are suspect. someone (possibly Heinlein) once said "there is only one sense, touch. The others are all simply extensions." I take this one further and say that the others are lesser than the primary. thus when we touch somebody our perceptions and another's interact as closely as they possibly can. Somebody else said "we are all born alone and we die alone." We walk though life alone and when we touch somebody else somebody alive, we are that much closer to not actually being alone. We can feel experience and understand being with somebody. those moments of being not alone are few and far between. Cherish them.

I miss being touched.  ¶ 8/23/2007 01:57:00 AM (0) comments

  Just a moment...

We interrupt the ukulele story to bring you this thought for the day.

Being single means following through on all of the crazy ideas you have because there's nobody to tell you not to.  ¶ 8/21/2007 12:44:00 PM (0) comments

  Adventures with the Ukulele.

Many moons ago I bought a guitar. It was a nice guitar: an acoustic/electric Takamine, and it set me back about five hundred dollars. I played it rarely and a few years later sold it for three hundred.

After the guitar I decided I preferred the Bass. It only has four strings and I only have four fingers this works out well. Trouble is you typically have the choice between a stand up bass and an electric one, both of which are way out of my price rang. In addition the stand up bass is very large and hard to move while the electric has a ton of extras that you have to have with it. I chalked it up as a lost dream and left it at that.

Not as long ago I stumbled across a video of somebody playing a ukulele version of Jonathan Coulton's Code Monkey. (available at Jonathancoulton.com)This amazed me, and my music dreams were alive again. With a uke, I have the benefit of four strings and it's also very portable. After some shopping online I determined that the price range was also much more reasonable as well.

I boasted to my friends of how I was going to learn to play the uke, and was mostly met with a dismissive attitude of "that's cool, whatever." But I was to prove them wrong. Not days before I left for Twin Arrows I walked into Guitar Center with about two hundred dollars in my grubby pocket, with the sole intention of walking out with a brand new ukulele. I spent what seemed like fifteen minutes standing next to the ukes, admiring them and not a single soul approached me to sell me one. Come on! Don't these people work on commission? Somebody must want to sell me an instrument. but no luck. I returned shortly with my mother in tow, hoping she would lend an air of credibility to my shopping, but still no salesperson appeared. We left, downtrodden but not beaten. Later that day we called another Guitar Center and asked about ukes for sale. I was told that there were a number in stock, and that when I arrived at the store and ask for David (name changed because I can't remember it.) With David's name in hand we entered the store...

More to come later, I'm tired of typing.  ¶ 8/15/2007 10:07:00 PM (0) comments

  Taking pleasure in your pain.

Is it wrong to enjoy the suffering of others? Probably. Does that keep us (meaning me) from doing it occasionally? Nope.

You're miserable, I'm happy.
You're having relationship issues, I'm living relationship free.
You're stuck in the same rut with a different guy, I'm doing what you said you wanted to: finding myself.
You're the same person, I've actually grown.
You're crying, I'm laughing. (that one I don't know for sure, but knowing you...)


I'm no longer bitter, I'm just better.

I don't know about you, but getting dumped by you was the best thing to happen to me in a long time.

It's also funny how feelings shift. last post I was tired of being single, and now I see the opportunity in it.

Makin' me feel glad that I'm not you.  ¶ 8/13/2007 12:03:00 AM (0) comments

  How I spent my summer vacation.

AT the beginning of the summer I decided to travel down to San Antonio and see some friends. I hoped to see Andrea, John and Micah. I had last seen Andrea at the end of the year, John at the end of my freshman year and Micah nearly three years ago. Due to some scheduling and money problems I didn't get to go down when I had originally planned, but I was determined to get down sometime this summer.

Lo and Behold, I find out my dad has to teach a class in San An a week after we get back from Oklahoma. I contact my friends and ask my dad if I can tag along.

Unfortunately, not 24 hours after I tell John that I'm coming down, he learns that his grandfather is dying and he'll have to go to Lubbock. Oh the irony. Also Andrea is heading to Lubbock on Wednesday to visit her sister.

So we arrive in SA Town Sunday night and my dad and I go see Harry Potter 5 and have dinner at Hooters. I'm expecting a call from either Micah or John about hanging out but When john calls I learn more of his grandfather's problems.

Monday I sit in the hotel all day because Andrea is at work, and cant get down to SA until Tuesday, and Micah doesn't call until that night. The hotel was actually not bad, I practiced my Ukulele, watched TV, and rode the stationary bike in the rec room. That night my dad and I go see Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer.

Tuesday Morning Micah picks me up and we drive around trying to find something to do. We walk around down town and see the Alamo (not terribly impressive.) Eventually we go back to his Apartment and play some video games. Megan, Micah's Girlfriend comes over and after many phone calls we manage to get Andrea to the apartment as well. Mich and Megan have never been to Freebirds, so we all hop in Megan's white Ford Bronco (the OJ chase car) and have some great burritos. Micah has to go to work so The three of us left decide to go hang out at the nearby mall. We walk aroiund the mall and hit all the important stores: Hot Topic and Spencer's. I buy a 13 dollar t-shirt at Hot Topic, because I just don't have enough t-shirts. We joke about me getting a makeover, but we forget to follow through on it.

We stop in at New York and Co. because they are having a really big sale. I'm doing my best to have fun by joking about trying on some of the clothing. Megan finds a dress that she looks gorgeous in, and Andrea gets a cute shirt for her upcoming audition. And because that last sentence didn't make me sound gay enough, I tried on a pair of capris that looked cool. It was supposed to be just a funny thing, and Megan didn't think I would go through with it, so I did it to prove her wrong. The strangest part is that fit great and looked really cool. I'm not entirely sure if Andrea and Megan said so to be nice or because they did, but I liked them and ended up buying them. I should mention that I learned some interesting things about women's pants. Most importantly is that the zipper flap is backwards. I mentioned this to Megan who said I shouldn't get them if it would be a problem, but it actually isn't that bad. I'm also concerned about what my parent's will think so once I've purchased them I remove the tags and put the pants in my Hot Topic bag.

After the mall we go visit Micah where he works: the Office Depot copy center. I had previously mentioned making a bunch of copies of the word fjord as part of a performance art thing I wanted to do so I plunked down my last ten dollars on 130 copies of the word fjord. Something else that would have to be explained to the family.

Side note: My Mother mentioned that her mother mentioned something about how I did my own thing, and that was cool(not her words.) I think the Girl pants and copies are further evidence of that fact, but that doesn't mean that my family needs to be aware of them at the moment. I'll tell them eventually, once enough time has passed.

While being driven around by Megan and Andrea we listened to the soundtrack to the Tenacious D movie. One of the songs contained the line "Government totally sucks," which I can identify with.

Wednesday I hang out with Micah and Megan some more, Megan takes us to the park that we tried to get to the day before, and we walk around and eventually end at Incarnate Word where Megan goes to school. She takes us to the blue hole which is one of the sources of the San Antonio Rio. I take a drink from it because I can and hope that brain worms don't kill me. We meet some of M&M's (I love that nickname) friends and we all watch the latest Bourne movie. This is followed by a trip to a local pub where they sever Scotch Eggs. Yay! For the uninitiated, A scotch egg is a boiled egg wrapped in sausage and the deep fried and eaten with mustard. It's incredibly yummy.

The Pub is having goldfish races and most of us enter. In goldfish racing there each racer has a goldfish in a rain gutter filled with water. The race shoots the fish with a water gun to make it go and the first to the other end wins. I lost in the first round, and when M&M faced off we learned that huge boobs beat a big penis every time. After the pub we went to heather's house and just hung out and talked for way too long. But it was lots of fun.

While at Heather's I really felt an annoying pang of being single. There were a couple couples that were not so subtly making out at one point and I was jealous. Not much I can do about it, so I tried to be polite.

I should also mention that the pants were worn all day Wednesday along with my new shirt. I noticed a few other things about pants made for the fairer sex. Firstly they (the pants) are slightly stretchy. Don't get me wrong, I've been around girl pants before and I knew they had some give to them, but I didn't know how awesome that actually is. They're just fun to put on. Secondly is the pockets. The front pockets are too small. I could barely fit my wallet in one and my phone in the other. I understand why women carry purses for all their stuff: they're pockets are just inadequate. Also the back pockets were sewn shut. There were pockets there, I just had to remove the thread keeping them closed.

I get back to the hotel at around 1 AM expecting everybody to be asleep. Which is incorrect. My mother is up reading. i was planning on nobody being up so i could slip out of my pants without any awkward questions. I should mention that I wore my new t-shirt to distract from the pants as a backup measure to the plan, but no such luck. My mother is aware that I have worn nothing but carpenter style pants for the last 8 or so years, and quickly noticed the new pants. I tried to play it off, but without much luck. I think the fact that I had new pants at all distracted from further inspection. Thankfully.

Thursday I managed to see John for a few hours in the morning. We went to the mall, hung out got some cookie cake and went to the goodwill store. It's weird how easy it was being back together, I think it was because we kept in touch so much over the past year. John also gave me the DVD of The History Boys. which i have been meaning to see for a while now. For Lunch I met Micah and Heather and Amanda at Jason's Deli. It was fun talking to them. Micha and I hung out a little more before he had to go to work and then I went back to my hotel.

My family went to the cheesecake factory for dinner and we bought Wild Hogs on the TV in our room. The Movie was surprisingly funny and worth the time.

Friday morning we woke up, packed and went back to Grapevine.

Hoops I did it again.  ¶ 8/11/2007 11:48:00 PM (0) comments